spy on me !

i'm feeling very left out here. no one is tapping my phone calls, stealing my identity, or hacking into my hard drive. i've never been conned or scammed, never been on a no-fly list, i dont even get spam! what gives? i'm temted to vote republican this fall, just in a vain attempt to play the odds of bieng classified an "enemy combatant" . i cant really be this undesireable can i ?